Find Him First

[I don't write often enough because I tend to be such a perfectionist about the things I write when I do actually get around to it. So I'm going to attempt to start just writing things and not worry so much about it. Hopefully you'll all cut me some slack if my words seem disconnected or don't make sense. Just know that I'm writing from my heart.]

Lately my cup has frequently felt empty. I've felt spent, done, exhausted, emotionally absent, and all around stressed out. I've spent my entire life (as I know many others have as well) trying to strike a balance between all the various pressures and pulls in different directions.

This morning I'm blogging to make note of a break through, so I can try to remember something I've known before but so quickly and easily forgot: I must make time for God.

Sometimes we lose Him.

He never loses us. He never forgets us. He is constantly watching and listening and waiting with outstretched arms for us, like toddlers, to amble back in His direction, for us to remember that we still need Him desperately.

How is it that we sometimes think that we can't afford the time to seek God, or to take time for our Devotion? How can we afford not to?!

We should sacrifice anything and everything (truly it is worth any and every sacrifice) to find Him first everyday.

Too often we pray or study our scriptures for no other reason than we're supposed to pray and study our scriptures. This isn't enough. We need to pray and study our scriptures and ponder and plead because we NEED Him, and because we need to have a communion, a connection, a conversation with Him.

I feel recommitted to taking whatever time it requires each morning to feel His love and to refocus my perspective on His will. I will persist in this because it fills my cup. It prepares me for the challenges I will inevitably face on a daily basis. It will make me an effective servant and instrument.

I will do so because if I don't, then what's the point of everything else?

Chocolatier

I day-dreamed today as made these cookie-dough truffles.

I could just see me becoming a chocolate expert,

A connoisseur,

A chocolatier.

I think chocolate is absolutely beautiful, don't you?

Scatter-brained

Okay, so remembering to post regularly is proving to still be a challenge for me.

I blame it on being scatter-brained.

I sometimes feel like I take mom-brain to an unhealthy extreme.

I do my best to combat it with daily reading, some math, and journal writing.

Even so, I still spaced appointments I had made on three consecutive days.

It's like there is only so much space in my brain, and daily life with kids is already an over load, not to mention all the extra stuff that gets added on top.

It occurred to me this evening, though, that in same ways forgetting can be a blessing. It's nice to feel blissfully unaware of things that would normally stress me out. Sometimes I just need an empty head for some peace of mind. :)

On a completely unrelated note, I've taken up crocheting again a little more seriously, so hopefully I'll be posting some more projects in the days to come.

Dinner

Okay, so this isn't a picture of tonight's dinner, but it was the dinner that kicked off the renewal of my efforts to start cooking again.

I actually got a compliment from my husband on this steak: "Better than Sizzler." That's a huge win in my book. ;)

(Sorry I kind of fell off the face of the planet for a while... But don't worry, I'm back.)

Reading

Books are a precious, though bountiful, commodity at our house. I suppose that's why library day is such a favorite: we get a new infusion of unread gems.

Naturally, when we get back from a full morning of reading at the library, we come home, lay down, and read all afternoon.

It looks something like this: